One of the struggles that I see with birth-moms who openly share their experience (including me) is that they risk having it become their only identity.
About 5 years ago I started openly sharing my adoption experience. It is a story of faith – and like many other adoption experiences it is very amazing and very spiritual. Oftentimes when people hear these tender stories, their hearts are touched. They cannot help but express love and appreciation toward the birth-mom. This is a beautiful thing and I absolutely love sharing these special moments with people.
So here is where it gets challenging… I feel like I am SO MUCH MORE than my adoption experience. That was just one part of my story…. my story started long before and lasted long after. The pregnancy was a side-note to the struggles of low self-worth and depression and many other things.
Adoption stories are powerful and miraculous… and those that hear them cannot help but feel the magnitude of that level of sacrifice. Tears are often shed.
This is what happens when I share my story – especially because it wasn't the traditional adoption where the placement happened at birth. People stop. They cry. And tell me that I must share my story with the world – and I agree.
However, there is a part of me that is screaming inside. I want to share the WHOLE story!! Not just this portion. I have an entire journey and there are many miracles along the way. I am very proud and happy to be a birth-mom (so are many others). Yet many of us are tired of that label being the ONLY one used to DEFINE who we are.
We are SO much more. All of our adoption stories are unique and special – and that is because each of us are unique and special.
I am bursting at the seams and every time I want to talk about other experiences in life, a perpetual lid is placed upon me… shoving my message down. It wants to come out… there is this explosive energy inside just waiting and wanting to be released… a powerful message that includes ALL of life experiences.
I put the lid on myself and allow others to put a lid on me, too. Right here and right now – I am unscrewing this 'stuck' lid. And I am tossing it aside. Never more will that lid be put upon me… The contents will be spilling out… so LOOK OUT WORLD, HERE I COME!!
Have you ever felt like your actions defined your worth? Have you ever placed judgments on yourself that hold you back? Do you allow others to do this? Do you have a message that wants to be shared?